


How Far Will Havoc Go?

by cold_flame



Series: Undeniable [8]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, ed being a little shit, havoc being havoc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-07
Updated: 2012-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24784963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cold_flame/pseuds/cold_flame
Series: Undeniable [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792303
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	How Far Will Havoc Go?

"Okay, baby. Yeah, I'll see you there. Love you too. Bye." Jean Havoc hung up the phone. "Hell yes! I finally got a girlfriend, Breda!"

"Too bad she's gonna hate you when you stand her up." Breda rained on his parade.

"Why would I stand her up?" Havoc asked confused.

"The Colonel assigned you that mission tonight in East Central. Remember?" Breda smirked.

"Dammit!" Then Havoc got an idea. "Hey Breda," he asked nervously, "do you think you could cover for me?" Breda snapped his head up.

"Why would I do that?" Breda scoffed, "What's in it for me?"

"I'll do your paperwork for a month." Havoc begged. Breda brightened up at that.

"Have fun on your date." he said in mock sweetness. Then he walked out of the door laughing maniacally muttering "sucker" under his breath. Havoc couldn't believe his luck, except now he was stuck with Breda's paperwork. He had to get someone else to do it. Just then, Fuery walked in.

"Fuery!" Havoc said overenthusiastically. "How's it going, buddy?" Then his voice lowered. "So, listen. I need you to do something for me." Fuery sighed.

"What is it, 2nd Lieutenant Havoc?" he muttered resigned. Havoc grinned. "I need you to do Breda's paperwork for the next month."

"B-but, w-why should I-"

"Great. See you, Fuery." Havoc cut in, stuffing the paperwork into the Master Sergeant's arms. Then Fuery spoke up.

"Hold on 2nd Lieutenant. I can't do his paperwork for him." he said in shock. Havoc frowned.

"Why not?" He pleaded.

"Well, you see," Fuery said coyly, "I started my own radio station last week and it's gotten really popular, so I've been real busy working with it. " Havoc brought his hand to his chin in a thinking position. Then he snapped. "I know! Falman!" he said gleefully

"What about Falman?" Fuery scrunched his brow.

"Falman can man your station for you. It's not like he has anything better to do." Havoc stated. Fuery looked as if he was pondering.

"Well, I'm not sure-" he said unsurely.

"Please, Fuery? For your buddy Jean?" he groveled. Fuery's eyes glimmered.

"Well, all right. If you can get Falman to do my missions, then I can do 2nd Lieutenant Breda's paperwork." he caved. Havoc grinned.

"Thanks, Fuery. You're a life saver!" he patted Fuery on the back. Then he left to go find Falman. He spotted the gray-haired Warrant Officer in the cafeteria. He waved.

"Falman! Just the man I was looking for!" he said joyfully. Falman raised his brows skeptically.

"Why were you looking for me?" Falman asked, almost scared to know the answer. Havoc grinned evilly.

"You see, Falman. I kind of need a little favor. I need you to watch over Fuery's radio station for the next month." Falman tilted his head in confusion.

"Fuery's radio station? What for? Where's Fuery going to be?" he said flabbergasted.

"On missions and stuff." Havoc lied smoothly. "So, what do you say, Falman? You willing to help out Fuery?"

"Well," Havoc leaned in closer, "I'd like to," Havoc got out of his seat to rejoice, "but I can't." Havoc's smile faltered. Before he could object, Falman continued. "The Colonel has condemned me to tedious chores for the next month." he said, hanging his head down in depression. Havoc twitched.

"Chief!" he exclaimed.

"Fullmetal?" Falman asked confused. "What about him?"

"He could do your chores for you! Hahaha, I'm a genius!" he leaned back, smirking in satisfaction.

"What makes you think Fullmetal would do it?" Falman asked him like he was crazy.

"I'll convince him somehow. If I do, will you watch Fuery's station?" Havoc asked hopefully.

"Yes. If you somehow manage to convince Fullmetal, although I doubt you will, I'll help out Fuery." Falman stated.

Later on that day, Havoc found Ed and Al on their way to the Colonel's office with their report on their most recent mission.

"Hey, chief!" Havoc waved at him. The Elrics stopped in their tracks. Ed frowned.

"Go on ahead, Al." He watched as his brother left and waited for the 2nd Lieutenant. "What do you want?" he huffed. When he saw Havoc's overly cheerful face, his eyes widened in horror. "Oh hell no! I already told you! I'm not pretending to be your son so you can hitch a date!" he glared at the older man.

"That's not what I was gonna ask you this time. Although, it still disappoints that you won't play along with that." he pouted.

"Well, then what the hell do you want then?" Ed grumbled.

"I want you to do Falman's chores for the next month." he ordered.

"WHAT?" Ed yelled outraged. "There's no way in hell I'm doing that!" Havoc sighed. He figured it would take a lot of convincing for the 14-year-old.

"Why not?" Havoc asked.

"Why the hell should I? He can do his own damn chores!" he said irritably.

"Well, you see Chief," he started nervously, "Falman has to watch Fuery's radio station, so he'll be too busy."

"Why can't Fuery watch his own radio station?" Ed narrowed his eyes. Havoc cursed under his breath. The boy wasn't called a genius for nothing.

"Fuery has to do Breda's paperwork for a month, which means he'll be extra busy. Falman's being nice and is helping him out."

"Why the hell is Fuery doing Lieutenant Breda's paperwork?" Ed asked taken aback.

"He's helping him out, since Breda is going to be doing my mission tonight." Havoc snapped. He was tired of playing 20 Questions with the brat. Then Ed's voice got dangerously low.

"And where are you going to be tonight, Lieutenant?" Busted.

"On a date." he grudgingly confessed .

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE FOR A STUPID DATE? HOW MUCH OF A DUMBASS ARE YOU?"

Havoc was pretty sure he lost all hearing in his left ear. He looked at the seething blond in front of him.

"C, mon, Chief," he sobbed at the teen's feet. "Help a guy out." Ed sighed and shook his head in shame at the man's desperation.

"What do I get out of it?" he muttered. Havoc straightened himself out.

"What do you want?" Just then, Lieutenant Hawkeye started walking by on her way to Mustang's office. Ed gave a malicious sharp-tooth grin. Havoc cringed in fear.

"Try and seduce the lieutenant." he ordered.

"What did you just say?" Havoc whispered horrified. "Are you trying to kill me? There's no way I can do that."

"Do it, or no deal. You want that date right? Or you know, I could tell both Lieutenant Hawkeye and Colonel Bastard why Breda's covering for you." he smirked. Havoc sighed and walked after the Lieutenant.

"Hey, Lieutenant." he was met by the Lieutenant's cold stare.

"What is it?" she replied, slightly annoyed. He glared in the direction of the blond boy, who was bowled over with laughter.

"You have a really hot ass." he said seductively. Her eyes flashed dangerously.

Here lies 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc. Death by gunshots.


End file.
